Friday, February 1, 2019

Mornings are the toughest.

You still have to smile for the camera!
Mornings are the toughest. I had to jump and get on the phone to wait on hold for a couple hours--again. I wanted to be first in an East Coast line. Normally, in the morning, I'll do some meditation to buttress up my emotions. I'm still dealing with the sadness of my girlfriends unexpected passing.
The mornings are the toughest. Before, I would always wake up while she was still sleeping and lay there looking at her. Emotionally try to touch her. She had been unwell for a while and those moments were precious to me. I have been having a rough go for a few years and the mornings were when I could feel like myself again; where I could easily feel love; I would just look at her and know she was there and she would be tomorrow. There was so much hope in that continuity, but I don't know anymore.
The mornings are the toughest. So many things that burn like a fire inside of me. It is morose and burdensome to feel this way and maintain a semblance of propriety talking to people all day every day; which only seems to compound fury of the flames. It is as if I am adding fuel every day to a fire that I want to subside.
The mornings are the toughest. This is a drink with forrest, what I am having is black coffee, strong and bitter like my woman {this is a joke I'd always say when ordering coffee. Evelyn thought it was funny}
I promise to try and be more upbeat next post.

1 comment: